Tayo Rockson on Belonging!
In this episode, Doreen and Megan dive into the theme of Belonging with Tayo Rockson, whose life as a global citizen, diplomat’s son, writer, and basketball lover has uniquely shaped his perspective on identity, inclusion, and community. Together, they explore how moving across cultures influences our understanding of self, the growing crisis of belonging in a polarized, fast-paced world, and practical tools for cultivating more inclusive communities.
Key Topics & Takeaways:
- Tayo’s Global Journey:
- Raised in five countries across four continents by age 17.
- Navigating identity as a Nigerian living abroad: Code-switching, language barriers, and the pressure to “fit in”
- The concept of "lily pad thinking" - that is growth through incremental changes rather than binary leaps
- Belonging in Today’s World:
- We’re experiencing a “crisis of community, identity, and values.”
- Binary (either/or) thinking and social media are fueling division and reducing our opportunities for true connection.
- We need to slow down, reflect, and get comfortable with nuance, discomfort, and messiness.
- Moving from Head to Heart:
- Practicing basic self-inquiry—What am I feeling? Why? How will I respond?
- Importance of understanding personal biases, values, and triggers.
- Ownership over our roles, both as those affected by bias and as people who may perpetuate it unconsciously.
- Authenticity & Inclusivity:
- Authenticity starts with asking “Who do I want to show up as?”
- The power of stating your needs and values, even when it’s uncomfortable.
- Perfectionism and “the invisibility cloak”—how hiding our messiness suppresses humanity and connection.
- For Leaders:
- “Don’t be afraid to be human.”
- Admitting mistakes and modeling vulnerability fosters psychological safety and real team connection.
- Perfection can be oppressive—process and progress matter.
- Lightning Round Highlights:
- Synonyms for belonging: Safety, home, appreciation, understanding.
- Language Tayo would learn: Igbo (Nigerian tribal language).
- Dream destination: Singapore.
- Tayo’s Motto:
- “Use your difference to make a difference.”
- Embrace uniqueness as a superpower. Start with similarity if difference feels challenging.
Recommended Resources:
- Use Your Difference to Make a Difference – Tayo’s Book
- As Told By Nomads – Tayo’s Podcast Archive
- Rethinking by Adam Grant (book reference)
- Paradise Found (film) – For lighter reflections on difference and belonging
Connect with Tayo:
- Website & Socials: tyrockson.com | @tyrockson everywhere
Closing Quote:
“Real belonging does not require that we change. It requires that we decide to be who we are.” — Doreen Cumberford
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