Your Carry-On Baggage: How TCKs Build Belonging From the Inside Out

In this episode of Nomadic Diaries, hosts Doreen Cumberford, Megan Norton-Newbanks welcome Lois Bushong, Author, Retired Counselor and Coaching expert on Third Culture Kids (TCKs). This conversation dives deep into the ever-evolving concepts of home and belonging, exploring generational differences, digital community building, and the psychological needs that underpin our sense of “place.”

Key Discussion Points

1. Home vs. Belonging

• Lois distinguishes between "home" (a physical space) and "belonging" (an emotional, psychological state).
• You can be in your literal home but not feel a sense of belonging, and vice versa.

2. Maslow’s Hierarchy and Belonging

• Belonging sits just above basic needs (food, water, safety) in Maslow’s Hierarchy, emphasizing its foundational importance.

3. Third Culture Kids (TCKs)

• Defined as individuals who spend their formative years outside their passport country.
• Lois shares her expertise working with adult TCKs and reflects on the impact of living between cultures.

4. Generational Perspectives

• Lois breaks down differences between Baby Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, Gen Z, and even Generations Alpha/Beta.
• Younger generations are often more comfortable finding community online and are attuned to diversity and inclusion, whereas older generations favor face-to-face interactions, loyalty, and stability.

5. The Digital Shift

• The rise of technology has transformed experiences, with terms like “experience plagiarism” and “sensory hijacking” describing how online interactions can dilute genuine life experiences.
• Despite challenges, Lois and others note positives—like the ability to maintain meaningful connections through digital tools.

6. Authentic Belonging

• Defined as genuine, vulnerable connection, whether in-person or online.
• The group agrees that authentic belonging can occur in digital spaces when interactions are honest and supportive.

7. Changing Work Environments

• From office-centric workdays to remote, location-independent jobs, the sense of community and routine has shifted.
• Loneliness and isolation can result, but digital check-ins and intentional connections (like sending a daily heart emoji) are important new practices.

8. Internalizing Belonging

• Lois highlights the importance of cultivating internal belonging, especially when external circumstances change.
• Healthy, authentic relationships act as reflective “mirrors,” helping us to truly see ourselves.

Notable Quotes:

• “A home is a physical place... Belonging is a psychological concept.” Lois Bushong
• “Authentic belonging is when you’re real with someone - not fake, not pretend.” Lois Bushong
• “Digital communities break down physical barriers, but you still need authenticity for true belonging.” Lois Bushong

Takeaways

• Belonging looks different across generations and platforms - but its need remains urgent.
• Whether through face-to-face conversation, a heartfelt message, or a daily digital check-in, intentionality and authenticity are essential.
• For nomads, expats, and TCKs, belonging is both an internal journey and a relational one.

Find Lois/Megan/Doreen

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Nomadic Diaries explores expat life, repatriation, belonging and global living. This episode may be part of our Re-Entry Series (30 episodes on coming home) or The Belonging Project (29 episodes on belonging across cultures). Browse the full catalog at nomadicdiariespodcast.com and please share or leave a review if this episode resonated.

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